It's been 13 days since i created this account to get it out of my chest. I lost my dignity, my pride, my love. I'm a naked man who will be walking the walk of shame because of what I did. I disowned and destroyed my family. This is the only place I'll write this out. I don't intend for this to blow out. If it does, I'll delete this account.
I'm 48 now, this story started when I was 20. I met a girl who I thought was perfect, she was 19. We just clicked, had the perfect chemistry. Dated for two years before she got pregnant at 21, we moved in. I was living with my mom at that time.
My father died when I was 15. Mom never remarried. She had a consultancy firm where I worked as a receptionist. My late father's business was sold off (construction) as I was young. I became a father at 23 to a baby girl.
She was the most beautiful girl. The bond between me and my girlfriend deepened after this. Two years later, we got married. I joined a job as a computer programmer. Earned six figures because it was in high demand. Our lives take off.
My wife wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I agreed but also recommended her she can take up a part-time job to spend her time. Things take a turn when I was 29 and she was 28, her father had a terrible accident that made him immobile from the waist down.
If that wasn't bad, he was the sole earner. I had a talk with my mom and my mother-in-law father-in-law and sister-in-law moved in with us (they lived in a rented place and now their sole earner is immobile, finances were an issue).
Sister-in-law took up a part-time job as did my wife to support her family. During this time, I also inherited from my late grandmother's will which was split in two and was put for college fund and my insurance by my mother.
I had no issues with it but my wife wanted to buy a house with it so we can move out from here (I had no problem but she specifically wanted to buy a house on her mother's name with my inheritance and both the sisters would work to pay off my inheritance) this was the issue.
So we had this distance part between us because I found her proposal weird. Two years passed by, my mother suffered a stroke as she had several clots and doctors needed to do surgery urgent and fast. It was successful but my wife wanted my mom to stay at hospital rather than come home because it would be difficult to have two patients at home at once.
I told her I agree but I will hire a nurse. She denied. She wanted me to hire two nurses to take care of my father-in-law and mom or none. I told her she will have to pay for her father's expense because I was already handling bills, groceries, taxes, our daughter's private school and now this nurse.
I won't be able to pay for her father's nurse. They should be able to afford it because both sisters make a combined of nearly 60 thousand dollars a year which was probably more than enough given that they lived and ate free. My relationship with our daughter soured a bit at this time. She began disrespecting me and was mean to me openly. I thought she was just having child issues.
She was eight at the time. My mother had a speedy recovery and she voiced her opinions that she wants to sell her consultancy firm and put the money in my name. My wife had an argument right there because she wants her to give it to our daughter and my wife as I had already gotten my share of inheritance from my grandmother.
What even more surprised me her mom and dad were quiet about it. My mother reminded her that it was her money and that she won't mind giving her inheritance as insurance plans. Nope, my wife had problems with me because you see, we don't have a joint account. She can't access my account. Neither can I to hers she wants a joint account.
We had an argument and it was decided that my mom will give the whole money to me. That was the end of it, so a few months passed by like this but then unfortunately, my father-in-law passes away. It was harsh especially to my wife.
I tried to console her every way I can... handled both household and workload all by myself (not bragging.) I tried to do everything I could but it still was not enough for her. Funeral was my responsibility. It goes well but still she'd complain how I could have done better.
She began to sleep in a separate room with our daughter who was 9 years old now. I convinced her to attend therapy and things settled down. We were intimate again, reconnected in a better and stronger way but I sensed something was off with our daughter.
She would shut me down every time I wanted to talk to her. It hurt seeing her like this. Two years passed by as I try to build a better bond with our daughter. This time around, my mother passes away.
She had another stroke and sadly could not survive. I was devastated by her loss. You see, she raised me all by herself for the majority of my life because my father was busy. It was also the reason I wanted our daughter to have a better relationship with both of us and was giving tremendous amounts of effort to achieve that.
I went to depression but no response from my wife. My daughter didn't even attend the funeral and I was saddened by it. Two months after my mother's death, my mother-in-law asked me maybe I should move out, from my mother's house because I was overly depressed and I should get over it.
I'm also ruining the atmosphere and it'll lighten me up. I calmly told her “I want to remind you of your husband's passing, you and both of your daughters were in grief for six to seven months. We never asked you to move out and how dare you even ask me to move out from my own house!?”
She was taken aback and went fully quiet by it. I talked to my wife regarding this but she didn't give me any response. I guess it was two days after this incident I was grabbing something from the fridge and noticed my daughter's phone.
A text came that read something like “it's good that the old witch is gone now, you can have the house to yourselves. We can have a party on your birthday” excuse me what!? My daughter was 11 at the time and what old witch!?
I read the convo and yes indeed she was referring to my mother. She called me ape, controlling even though I never denied her anything except for things that I deemed were useless for her (she wanted a pony at six, koala at nine panda and her own car at 11). Who does that I called my wife and showed her these.
Her response was at me for trying to look into our daughter's phone. We had an argument about it, before she stormed off. She again began to sleep in separate beds. I tried to make amends but she shot me down... it took me to agree to our daughter's birthday party to get her into talking to me.
Three years passed by (for quick review my daughter is 15 I'm 38 and my wife is 37). I had to go to another city for a summit for four months. I landed up in another job that provided me with tons of opportunities and even better pay.
When I returned, my wife's entire demeanor changed around me. She quit her job, would hang out more with friends (which I supported) dressed up in more expensive and posh clothes (you get the idea). I thought it was change of habit and was fine with it.
But our daughter openly disrespected me, was mean right in my face. I kept trying and trying not to freak out. Mother-in-law sister-in-law and my wife were telling me it was just hormones and she's just a kid. I stayed upset but yeah I trusted them.
Bedrooms skyrocketed at this time between me and my wife. I'll spare you the details I enjoyed every bit of it. Except one day she brought the kink of me being caged as in like a chastity cage. I shut her down immediately. We argued over this for a week before she got frustrated and dropped the topic.
Our sex life dwindled here. Things go worse from here. My wife suddenly wants to go on a girls trip with her sister-in-law and our daughter. I had no issues as it'll be great. I had to pay a nice sum for it but it was okay. She didn't call me for three days had chats only with her mom and I had chit chat with her there.
It was odd for me. I asked her about this when she returned, she told me she was just tired. I asked to see her photos. Saw a lot of friends (both male and female) it sent me into alert but she assured me it was just her friends and a few male friends.
I saw nothing suspicious so I was okay. Two months later was our daughter's birthday and I wanted to plan something for her. Wife asked not to as she will celebrate it with a girls night. I was taken aback and voiced my opinion. Who the F takes their daughter at a girl's night. She told me it wasn't like that but rather her friends and their daughters only.
No alcohol was involved. I was fine by it. My birthday was around the corner after this event. Keep in mind our sex life is bland now. It's once a week, I tried to initiate more but she always came up with excuses. I never celebrated my birthdays after my mom passed away but each year my wife gives me gifts so i kind of expected this.
Wife tells me she has to go shopping with our daughter. Goes out for six hours no calls, no texts and no gifts. When I ask about it, she tells me one of her friends got into an accident and she stayed there and couldn't receive my calls.
Two weeks after this, my wife was showing me some pictures from our daughter's girls camp and our daughter called her that she needed her. She handed me her phone and went out of the room. A text came telling our daughter to “hey my dear daughter, I'm sorry for this late reply. I'm the lucky one to be your mom's boyfriend. Tell your mom I love her and kiss her for me. I'll text you soon”
It took me an F***ing whole minute to read the text over and over again and I still couldn't believe myself. I scroll up to see my daughter texted this person “I'm glad you're my mom's boyfriend, really wished you were my dad xo” WHAT!?!?!?
I go to the toilet, lock the door and read this conversation. All things noted, this guy is having an affair with my wife and our daughter knows.
THIS GUY IS HAVING AN AFFAIR AND OUR DAUGHTER KNOWS!?!?!? WHAT IN THE F***ING WORLD!?!?
I saw pictures of vacations, girl trips, our daughter's birthday. They f***ing went to candlelight dinner as a family!?!? This guy was kissing my wife right in front of our daughter and my daughter was pointing at them like it was some sort of good romantic thing!?!
What's more my sister-in-law f***ing knew!? The more I scrolled the more my heart sank. It was this guy who gave my wife the idea about chastity. It seemed to me that my daughter and wife were both texting from this. What's more this account wasn't even her real one.
It was of a different username but this guy knew everything of my family. Even on my birthday my wife and daughter was with this guy!? At his house what the f***! He was over at my house, slept on my bed while I was gone for four months and even worse!?
It's been going on for four years four f***ing years !? I heard a loud bang on the toilet door.. It was our daughter. I just came out and stared at her. This was the first time I stared at my daughter like this. The same daughter that I looked at with pride, love and respect just sank to indifference and disappointment.
I wasn't even angry. She was red and crying. She didn't know what to say. My wife was there as was my sister-in-law and mother-in-law. I just asked my mother-in-law if she knew what her daughter did. My wife responded “we can talk”. I don't know what came over me I yelled out shut the f*** up or I'll strangle you right now so loud that even neighbors might have woken up.
I questioned my mother-in-law again and she nodded. She f***ing nodded. I looked at my daughter and told her I'm sorry I couldn't be a better father but I'll do this one thing for her and divorce her mother (I called my wife her mother for the first time while addressing her) so this guy can be her father whom she dearly wants.
Looked at my wife and told her she has nine days (months end) to pack up and leave with her family. I'll handle the divorce papers. But for now move out. She kept crying but my yelling and response might have taken her off guard. She knew I wasn't in the mood to argue or talk.
I gave up... It's over! It was it. I couldn't sleep the whole night just stared at the wall and my phone looking at our family photos. At morning, I tell my wife not to cook for me because I don't trust her, she might poison me (not gonna lie, she broke down and I felt like I was out of line with this) and I was going to file for divorce today.
She tried to talk but I had none of it. Mother-in-law asked me to wait and listen to her before making my decision. I had a friend who's a lawyer, I meet him and lay all my cards on the table. He just tells me this “I've been a lawyer for 12 years (he's 41) and haven't seen a case infuriating and saddening as yours” he hugged me.
Told me his uncle is the family judge who will probably be handling my case. But before that, I need proof loads of it. He gave me a number of someone who happens to be a PI, I hired him I went through my daughter's phone nothing.
Talked to my wife, she told me sorry over and over again, but no remorse. My daughter, sister-in-law and mother-in-law didn't come anywhere near me. My daughter was even to the point of being afraid of me so much that she lived two days at her friend's house.
Her friend's father called me and I had to inform him of the entire situation. He said he's sorry it was hard for him to believe what my daughter did as it should be. No man ever could dream of getting betrayed like this by their own children. PI found the guy, turns out he's a jacka**, coward from the countryside who fears commitments, is a small-time thief, used to work at the same place as my wife.
I hit his place with my lawyer, PI and another of my friends who happens to be police. Got him cornered on falsified claims and he spilled the beans. Turns out he was attracted to my wife and accepted a challenge from his co-worker that he will have her in his bed.
It soon turned to love. He was actually in love with my wife. Turns out it was him who called my mom a witch. It was a separate id and he was just friends with my daughter before my wife dropped the news that she's having an affair with this guy.
He was even ready to provide written statements and video of him confessing, any photos and even a witness for exchange of promise that word of this won't reach his office or his sickly mom (who's 60-plus with heart disease in the countryside) and a few thousand bucks.
I agreed. My wife moved out with her family. She took a few more thousand from me to pay a lease.
Divorce hearing:
I lay all my cards on the table. Every screenshot, every video of her boyfriend confessing, every lie, receipts and even photos of them holding hands and kissing. The look on her face soured. She told me I was abusive but this claim was easily dismissed as there was no proof and if I was abusive, why would I allow her to do a job and keep her family at my house?
She had nothing to prove and even her lawyer was taken aback by the amount of proof we had. She conceded at the end and told me she's incredibly sorry for what she did, we'll do anything to make up for it even if it needed the rest of her life to do so.
Judge said I'll have to pay spousal of support to her for four years. There was no custody battle as our daughter was already 17 at that time. She wished to stay with her mother. I had no problem with that (will come to this later) my wife will receive half of my house and her car but nothing except that.
I offered to buy her share of the house (I have a hefty sum left by my mother remember? Another reason was house market will go up in the future, and I'll make a profit from there) now here I requested one thing from the judge.
I wanted to have my name removed from the birth certificate (this of course was not possible) if I can't then I'll disown our daughter. The look on my wife's face was just the best thing. Her face turned white.
She responded how could you!? I reminded her she put me to this. My daughter yelled dad you can't do this right in the courtroom. I ignored her. Judge was a good man and understood my sentiments. However he advised me to forgive.
There is no way I can disown her legally but I can cut her off from my will. It was it it took me eight months to get the divorce finalized and I couldn't be happier. When I got out, I hugged my lawyer. He saved me.
Ex-wife and ex-daughter came up. Wife told me she knows she doesn't even have the face to ask for forgiveness but if I can find it in my heart to forgive her. I replied I don't have a heart she ripped it out. Daughter said she's sorry for what she did. She will be the best daughter and asked for another chance.
This girl had the audacity to call me dad I reminded her I wasn't her dad I'm an ape if she remembers and that her dad is the one she wanted. She should be happy that her mother is single now. She chased me but I left.
On our way back, I asked my lawyer if I could let the company my ex-wife works at, know what my ex-wife was up to these years. He advised me to get a restraining order first. With the help of my police friend and judge, I was able to get one (had to spend money) went nuclear.
Made five copies of evidence. One for the company, one to be sent to ex-wife's boyfriend's sickly mom (I didn't care, he didn't respect my home and my mom. I can't respect his). One was with my lawyer and I burnt one. The last copy I left it in my locker. The fallout was quite the show. They were fired.
My ex-sister-in-law had the guts to call me out. She told me she'd known me always as a brave, upstanding, loyal, strong character and humble man but never thought I'd ruin her sister's career like this.
She yelled at me for getting her sister fired. I chuckled and reminded her that it was her who supported the affair. I might be a coward for doing this, but what she did made her sister a homewrecker. I asked her why she was so mad.
Is there a possibility she spread her legs for her sister's boyfriend too. She was sickened and blocked me mother-in-law reached out (forgot about this woman) she apologized for what happened. She couldn't raise her daughter's well.
I called her out. Told her she was a horrible and greedy woman. I wouldn't give a darn if she dies and she should be thankful for having a person like me as her son-in-law in this life before blocking her.
As for boyfriend, his mother had a heart attack and passed away. Turns out his mother always hated infidelity because boyfriend had daddy issues. Their dad left him before he was born. I felt sad but therapy made me realize I shouldn't.
It's human nature. I didn't know any of this before. He nuked my marriage and family, I replied the favor. As for my daughter, she kept reaching out apologizing for every word. I blocked her but she won't stop reaching out to me. I had to change my number.
Sold my house eight months after the divorce was finalized. Got a hefty sum. Moved to a different city. Started afresh, attended therapy, gym, got a better paying job. Got into boxing. Bought a house invested in cryptos and stocks made a fortune. Got into the dating market when I turned 42 met and remarried again at 44.
Now I have a better wife who's amazing in every way, knows the value of a relationship because she herself faced the same situation as me (no kids). I have a four-year-old son with her and I couldn't be any more happier.
I executed my will that excluded my daughter so she won't be getting anything from me. I don't know how but she was able to reach out to me two weeks ago sent eight long paragraphs detailing how sorry she is. She's been in crippling depression ,therapy, working hard.
I got a call from my lawyer which surprised me even more my daughter turned up to lawyer's office with 20 thousand dollars (I don't know where she got this from) she made a request that she will work hard and return every last penny I spent on her, will keep on apologizing for the rest of her life but she wants me in her life.
She can't stay like this anymore. It's eating her alive. I don't know much about what happened but as I heard her mother (my ex-wife) turned depressive and had to be admitted into a mental hospital, her sister moved in with an alcoholic abuser and is pregnant with her second kid.
My ex-mother-in-law passed away she had an accident, lost a lot of blood and if she survived, she would have ended up like her late husband. So now my ex-daughter is living alone working at a part-time job because she couldn't finish her education.
She borrowed some money from friends (also heard nearly all of her friends cut her off after I had a talk with her friend's dad) everyone called her toxic and moved on. Not gonna lie, hearing all this shattered my heart.
My wife is pushing me to build a bridge with my ex-daughter. Saying she realizes her mistakes and she needs me now more than ever if i don't help her now, she won't get up and will keep falling endlessly.
I don't know how to feel. When you're a father, a lot of responsibilities lies on your shoulders that you can't simply outrun. I gave my daughter the world and she stabbed me. I was hurt and angry but more, my pride shattered. My love shattered.
My decision to cut off my daughter was the toughest one but i still made that decision but i don't know if I should contact my ex-daughter now. My lawyer said I should because it's the right thing to do. I need to let it go for myself. Funny how life can change in an instant.
Thank You!
Comments
Post a Comment