Three years ago me (48m) found out that my wife (46f) was having an affair. She met a guy at work and came home one day telling me she was in love with him, no longer loved me and wanted a divorce. This was a guy she'd known for only three months at the time. She and I have been together since we were in her 20s. We had three kids (28m), (26m) and (23f). Well I tried to fight for my marriage and didn't want a divorce but she simply would not stop seeing this guy. After one weekend where she disappeared from Friday afternoon to Sunday night I ended up throwing her out of the house. She immediately moved in with this guy.
The only excuse she ever gave me was “I never wanted to hurt you, but there's something about this guy.” And “I deserve to be happy.” That was it. That was the depth of her reasoning for throwing everything that we built together away. We ended up finalizing our divorce in early 2022. Although I had a very hard feelings towards her I faked it enough to get pretty favorable divorce terms from her.
It seemed she was so eager to be with her dream man that she didn't have time for a long divorce. So in the end I got to keep my pension and the house (which I had bought for my grandmother). I did have to give her half of my 401k however.
The effect on her kids was pretty devastating. All three of them took it very hard. My oldest son told her that she chose this man he'd never have a relationship with her again. As of right now neither of her sons has a relationship with their mother. Our daughter does talk to her from time to time but their relationship is very strained to say the least. My daughter is a very kind person and she tries but she usually ends her conversations with her mother even more upset than when they started.
About four months after the divorce my ex contacted me out of the blue. She told me that she had made a terrible mistake and asked if she could come home. Her dream man turned out to be an alcoholic who she says is verbally abusive and wasted all of her money.
I use this as an opportunity to tell her exactly what I thought of her as a person, a wife and a mother. I told her that this was her life now and she had to deal with it. I told her she no longer had a home at this house and to never contact me again. Then a few things happened over the last year that had driven her to start trying to contact me again.
First off I met someone. My sister introduced me to a friend of hers who was also divorced and she and I hit it off. We've been seeing each other since last summer and while we've agreed that neither of us wants to get married again, we are together.
Once my ex heard about this she once again tried to contact me but I ignored her. My son also got married and did not invite his mother. She again contacted me to try to get me to intervene on her behalf. I told her I would talk to him but I never did.
Secretly I feel like she deserves all the pain she's feeling when it comes to our kids. She destroyed her family without so much as an afterthought. Too bad, so sad. Now she recently told her daughter that she finally broke it off with the dream man because she could not take his drinking and total lack of responsibility.
He wasted her half of the 401K that I'd given her. He also totaled her car driving drunk. This from a man in his 40s. Again she knew this guy for three months and torpedoed our whole family for him. On the face of it I act like I feel sorry for her but on the inside I really Delight in the fact that she is so unhappy.
Call me evil or whatever I don't care. She brought this on herself and it serves her right. I actually had to sit there one Saturday night while she got ready for a date with this guy and laughed on the phone with her friend about how awkward our living situation was. I lived in hell for over a year because of her.
Wait until she finds out her son and his wife are going to have a baby later this year. Maybe if she had been able to keep her legs closed she'd get to meet her grandchild. Enjoy your shitty one bedroom apartment and your broken down used car.
Me and my new partner will think of you when we're on vacation in Hawaii this summer. Hawaii was the trip my ex and I always plan to take once our daughter finished college. Maybe I'll send her pictures.
Thank You!
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