Grab a cup of coffee or tea this is a long story (I apologize but I hope it's worth your time to read).
My revenge began while discovering my wife's infidelity (let's call her ‘‘Keri”). After 14 years of marriage and three kids, I saw a text appear on her “work phone” for just a few seconds that would forever change my life. It was a message that was sexually graphic and had no business being on anyone's “work phone”. It was on the lock screen and the sender's name was visible (let's call him “Perry”).
Background:
I married Keri when I was 25 and she was 22. I was teaching high school at the time and she was a registered nurse. After having our first child, Keri became a stay-at-home mum. Money was tight, so I took on an admin role in my department and coached two sports for the stipends. We made it and after a few annual pay rises, I stopped in coaching and took advantage of a program to earn an administrative credential.
Once I made the jump to administration, our last child was ready for preschool and Keri decided she wanted to go back to work. Nursing jobs are always available, but they're not always the best positions. Keri pretty much had to start back at the bottom, working alongside nurses that were a lot younger than she was and could work back to back double shifts that took a toll on Keri. When she asked her supervisor about other positions, she was told that without a BSN, she wasn't going to move up (at the time, Keri only had a two-year ADN). I told her that between preschool, after school rec, and my retired mother (who was always willing to pick up the kids from school and watch them) I'd support her getting a BSN.
It took her three years but eventually she had a BSN and was promoted to a better position at the hospital. Things were good for a while. We had plenty of money, so finally moved in our own “McMansion”, bought new cars, etc. I'd moved from school admin to the district admin, so I had more time to spend with Keri and the kids. She was working a more predictable schedule and even with my often long hours at work, this changed allowing us to finally take vacations to all places we put on the list during our Honeymoon (she kept that list in our wedding album).
At some point years later, I noticed she's carrying two phones with her. When I asked her about it she said it was a phone provided by the hospital. I didn't question her explanation because my district had also given me the option of a phone stipend (which i took instead). Again months went by and i thought we were a happy “perfect” family.
I charged my phone in our den while she charged her phones in our guest bedroom that doubled as a computer room so we keep tabs on the kids while they surf the web. I was updating software on the computer when i saw a light around her work phone. She had a habit of always turning her phone's face down when charging them. Out of curiosity, I reached over to the phone and flipped it over. A messenger popped up on the lock screen asked her when she'd like to be “orally pleased again” but in a much more graphic language. I also saw that Perry sent it.
The world stopped around me. I just froze. My first thoughts were “What the hell was that about? It's a work phone! That kind of message gets people fired!” Then it hit me... was Keri having an affair?
It's amazing how the brain works. I suddenly started remembering a lot of things Keri had done that seemed ‘odd’ but I've either dismissed them myself or immediately accepted their explanation. She was always walking out of the room to answer a call or return a text and claim that it would violate HIPPA if i ever heard her talking about a patient. I accepted this because education has similar privacy laws regarding students. She would sometimes come home with a faint smell of cologne on her clothes and claimed it was from helping to move male patients. Again i accepted this at face value, but it always struck me as odd it seemed to be the same scent of cologne.
Once the proverbial barn door was open, I started seeing a lot of things that I'd missed before our love life in the bedroom had called off considerably which wasn't helped by her having to leave the house at odd hours to “fill in for other nurses that called in sick” I also record when I'd seen the name Perry before and a court of the hospital confirmed he was a doctor there.
For the next week or so, I was walking around in the days trying to pull out all the pieces together. One of our kids had left a book in Keri's car, so it was an excuse to visit the hospital (Keri had told me personal visits were frowned upon). My kids went up to get Keri's car key (I'd forgotten my key to her car at home) I talked to a nurse in the lobby and “joked” about how “work phones” seemed like a blessing but all they do is put you on court 24 hours a day. This led to her eventually telling me that hospital was too ‘cheap’ to give cell phones to nurses, so only high-level executives got them (which didn't include Keri).
With pretty much everything confirmed, I took some personal time off the next day to talk to a divorce lawyer. The news she gave me was horrible. We lived in a community property state with no fault divorce. I made more money than Keri, she'd been the primary caretaker of the kids and we've been married for more than 10 years. Basically if I filed for divorce I'd be screwed. Lose the house, pay alimony, she'd get a huge chunk of my retirement, and I'd pay child support for the next decade unless I was lucky enough to be awarded joint custody. The worst thing she told me was that it didn't matter that she cheated.
It. Didn't. Matter. I was crushed.
There was only one person i could trust with this kind of information. She was a fellow teacher that had also made the jump to administration (but was “stuck” at a school site). Let's call her “Anne”. Anne had been married at 19, but her marriage was annulled when he got some other woman pregnant. Since then, she'd focused on her career and we found were kind of kindred spirits in a lot of ways regarding k-12 education.
I talked to Anne. She said something to me that changed my whole mindset. If you don't like the hand you're dealt, change the deck. I realized I had two problems. I made more money than Keri and she had more time than me to be the primary caretaker of the kids.
The second issue was actually kind of easy. At every district office, there are jobs that are “fast tracked” to higher positions and there are jobs that administrators suffer through (like Mess or KP duty in the military). One of these dead-end regulatory positions was open again (ambitious administrators leave after a couple of years when a better position opens up). I sat down with our district superintendent and asked about being transferred to that position. At first he was shocked but i told him it was “my time to take one for the team” and it would fill a “hole” in my admin experience. He agreed.
It was really just crunchy numbers with no personnel or student interaction so i could set my schedule, even take a laptop home and work there. With my new free time, I began taking the kids to school, picking them up from school (not leaving them an after-school rec or having my mother watch them), and taking them home. I'd help them with their homework, make dinner, etc. While their end goal was to become their primary caretaker. I can't explain how much I really, really enjoyed taking the more active role in their day-to-day lives.
My salary hadn't been reduced, so i needed to find a way for Keri to make a lot more money than she was in current nursing position. I remember Keri being mad after she earned her BSN and a supervisor told her “in the future bachelor degrees will be worthless and everyone will need at least a master's degree”. Keri had worked hard to get a BSN and that supervisor's comment pissed all over her hard work. I talked to her starting at MSN program. I told her that since I had a much more flexible work schedule, I would keep taking care of the kids. She was reluctant at first then, I said “You could have every evening free to study or go to class, whatever you want to do”. I saw our eyes immediately light up, probably thinking that she could spend more time with Perry.
To make sure she was actually completing her MSN courses. I paid her tuition and fees directly to her university. It was going to take her between two and three years to finish.
Those years were rough at times. I could tell every time she was rushing off or coming back from seeing Perry. There was an excitement or sense of satisfaction in her eyes that just wasn't there when she was doing her coursework. I had to either smile or pretend I didn't notice. My temper got short at times and i found myself in arguments over petty nonsense. A couple of times I almost blew the whole charade having to bite my tongue and apologize rather than scream insults at her that she deserved.
Anne remained my confidant throughout this. I'd recommend her for my previous “fast track” position and she joined me at the district office. Anne was qualified, hardworking, ambitious and only needed a foot in the door to impress the higher-ups. I even got a few pats on the back for recommending her after she impressed everyone.
Anne and I started with our own affair. It wasn't some hot-blooded, passionate, romance but two friends giving each other what they need. Without Anne, I wouldn't have been able to maintain the charade of being the oblivious cuckold. I never know if i pronounced that right but when Keri would come home smiling after spending time with Perry. I was able to bear it, smiling back because I had my own lover.
After three and a half years, Keri completed her MSN and was promoted at a hospital. Her salary went up substantially and was now higher than mine. When the kids and i made her a “congratulations dinner” I made a joke about her being the “breadwinner” for the family and she laughed, joking back I should be a stay-at-home dad now.
A month later, I went back to the lawyer (who didn't remember me at first) and told her the financial situation had drastically changed. With these new facts she drafted the petition and filed it. When the kids were with my mother, I had Keri served. The deputy knocked on our front door and led him in pointing at my wife. He asked her name and then handed her a copy of the divorce petition. With the deputy standing there, I told Keri i knew all about her affair with Perry (but I didn't tell her how long I'd known). I told her to go be happy with her doctor lover. She screamed at me, tried to lie, and then made the mistake of rushing towards me.
The deputy stopped her and warned her that women go to jail for domestic violence, too, “now”. He suggested she pack a bag to stay somewhere else. Keri left after I promised not to tell the kids about her affair I didn't tell the kids but I told my mother who told my sister, who told her kids, who told their cousins (my kids). It took a few days, but eventually the kids knew that dad was divorcing mum because “she had a boyfriend”.
In the end the court granted divorce, giving me primary custody of our kids (because I was already the primary caretaker), I kept the house with a promise I'd refinance to buy out Keri's half she was ordered to pay child support, and I used that fact to negotiate with her to give up any rights to my retirement if I bought her out.
I felt like i could finally breathe. I celebrated with Anne who'd been my rock through all of it. I'm not ashamed to say through the years I'd cried many times in her arms. Anne and I would eventually marry. She got promoted to a higher position and I was “convinced” to take my previous position at the district when my youngest child reached high school.
Keri and I got along well after the divorce. We took the kids to family therapy and worked out this co-parenting thing. For the first few months, she took a beating from the kids about “why she needed a boyfriend when daddy was there all along?” Between the kids and the therapists raking her over the coals, I didn't have to say anything at all. Keri missed a lot of time with the kids because of her now legitimately busy work schedule and i felt bad my kids were missing time with their mother, so encourage them to talk to her on the phone instead.
When Keri found out I'd propose to Anne, she congratulated me. I told her it's okay for her to marry Perry, too. She got sad she told me that Perry had started seeing another woman, a younger nurse at the hospital, because with her new position, she didn't have time for him and when they did get together, she wasn't “fun” anymore. My ex-wife, the woman who cheated on me and destroyed our marriage, was looking to me for sympathy, I had none to give.
What I had was years of anger and frustration. Years of knowing some man was sleeping with my wife. I'd lost weight from not being able to eat, I'd suffer hypertension and had to confide in my doctor why it wasn't the stress of my job. I had to listen to my dentist complaining about how I was grinding and listen to him telling me i need dental implants if it kept up. There were times when I had to be intimate with Keri to keep up the charade (fortunately infrequently), only to lie that I wanted to use condoms to “remind us how we used to have sex when we were dating” or “because I might have a bladder infection”, then go take a STD test anyway and wait for the results before seeing Anne again.
But in the end, it
was all worth it. Sure, Keri got a big payout when i bought her out
to the house and my retirement, which she was trickling back to me
through child support, but she lost everything else. Her kids only
saw her every other weekend and spent a couple of holidays with her.
Perry dumped her and he was no great catch anyway, since he was twice
divorced with five kids pen alimony and child support through the
nose, I kept my kids, my house, my income, my retirement, I got Anne,
and I am genuinely happy -- all in a community property state with no
fault divorce.
If that's not “pro-revenge”, then I don't know what is.
Thank You!
Comments
Post a Comment